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  1. It's Not Fair

From the recording Songs From the Science Frontier

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This song was inspired by the work of Dr. Jennifer Byrd-Craven, a developmental psychologist at Oklahoma State University. She doesn't have teenagers yet, but she does study them. I couldn't resist wondering what it would be like for a teen to have a developmental psychologist for a mom.

Lyrics

My mother says she thinks I probably ought to stop talking to my very best friend
She says it stresses me out
She calls it - co-rumination
I told her that I really couldn't see how it could hurt me to be talking to a friend
In fact it makes me feel good
I call it - someone to listen
Then Mama said, "One of us may be right. Good old science will shed some light."

Chorus:
It's not fair when your mother is a scientist
It's even worse when your mother is a developmental psychologist
We never have a normal argument
Cause she'll just run an experiment
She gathers up data and evidence
And who ever comes to my defense?
It's not fair when your mother is a scientist

My mother ran a study using pairs of volunteers she put in two different groups
The controls did a task
The others did co-rumination
She took before and after sample spit from each participant in each of the groups
To measure cortisol scores
Cause that's a - stress indication
When the cortisol charts came back from the lab, all I could say was, "Dag-nab!"

Repeat Chorus

But Mom, I told her, you know you haven't proven a thing (haven’t proven, really haven’t proven)
Your study isn't published. It hasn't been reviewed by your peers (it hasn’t been peer reviewed)
You can't say for certain if co-rumination is a cause of stress
Your results have not been duplicated, and that could take many years

Mom said, “It’s not fair when your kiddo knows about scientists
It's even worse when your kiddo is a teenage know-it-all smarty pants
I never win a single argument
Cause even when I run an experiment
And gather up data and evidence
My kid still invents some brilliant defense
It's not fair when your kiddo knows about scientists”
Well, it's not fair when your mother is a scientist
No Fair!
No Fair!
No Fair!